Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
