I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
