he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
