Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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