3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
