Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
