I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
