the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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