You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
