he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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