Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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