You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
