____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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