Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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