Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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