So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she peed on how many people?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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