i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
