I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
