I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
