...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
