ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
