So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
