Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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