you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
