she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
