Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
