Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
