I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
