Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
