I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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