Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
