My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
