Do vagina's smell?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
