that's an acceptable place to lick
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
the liver wants what the liver wants
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
