yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
