i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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