"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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