Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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