About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
