with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just blew my weed a kiss
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
