Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
