His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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