i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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