he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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