Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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