I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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