There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
