So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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