I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
