Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
