I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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